I remembered strolling through a back street famous for murals and handicrafts, and I was there for a very specific reason: to get gummy bears for my friend.
The shop is very distinct, with a gigantic bear at the front of a pastel-colored doorway with arched windows.
There were no crowds, no distraction, no rain. But I did not get the gummy bears.
Nothing sinister or surprising happened here, I just chose to listen to my head of excuses:
Maybe my friend wouldn’t appreciate it anyway. Maybe these world-renowned candies were not worth it anyway. Maybe I’m the one pretending that there even is a friendship anyway. That I’m the one flying all the way to a different country, planning my route to unsuspiciously stroll down this specific lane with this specific thought for one person I cared deeply about. That gifting these gummy bears would mean the world to me because these are their favourite candies.
I just
wondered these actions scream about me being a good person, by deliberately going places
but thinking about others I love. Maybe I'm not a good enough person.